When we put on a suit we men generally feel better, smarter ready to take on the world, I recently bought a suit. The suit is for a client’s wedding coming this summer. Now I bought it for a reason; perhaps to fit in, meaning you would not turn up to a wedding in your tracksuit, although I am from Liverpool originally...!
I am trying to explain that in social situations we dress accordingly and hopefully act in a certain way because after all it is the bride and groom’s big day...
So if you think about it now (forgive me for generalising!), in our daily lives, we act in a certain way because of social pressures and etiquette allowing us to fit in with the people or circumstances around us.
Solomon Asch a Psychologist proved with an experiment in 1951, that 'majority influence' plays a major role in society, with individuals yielding to groups pressures.
If you think about your family now, do you feel good visiting parents, in-laws etc, or do you have a sense of doom or negativity because of how they make you feel..?
What I am starting to explain is with your life, when you have experienced a positive or negative feeling, this will get hard wired into your brain and body literally giving you those feelings again, just by thinking about the experience.
Everyone thinks, yes that is obviously true, but did you know that your thoughts actually create your life in 3 areas: your relationship, health (mental and physical) and your wealth.
What is a thought: it can be visually experienced through seeing anything with the eyes, also internal pictures/memories or constructed images, hearing a sound externally or internally again sound memory or constructed sounds, kinaesthetic feelings internally i.e. emotions or touching something with any part of the body, or constructed feelings, sense of smell or even taste is exactly the same...(by the way sense of smell is the fastest way to long term memories, personally if I smell semolina I am back in the queue at school!)
So when you do think it is really using your senses internally and if you focus on a thought for long enough it may well go to a stronger feeling i.e. about a family member, then it may cause you to act a certain way and if this feeling increases it will go to an emotion positive or negative behaviour perhaps leading to a belief about this family member and if this thought is repeated hey presto, you have a negative habitual feeling about this person!
When the two million bits of information come into your brain every second or moment with 80% via the eyes, you can only deal with 7 plus or minus 2 chunks of this information, and in a split second you decide on how you feel about the situation you’re in or do you...?
What I am asking, but really going to say, is we have the final say on how we are going to feel or feeling in any situation, although the meta programme going on in everyone’s heads is unfortunately an automatic programmed habitual thought system, which includes your identity, values, beliefs, attitudes, life experiences (environment), memories and decisions about how all of this programme actually affects your present moment with that family member or partner..
Self talk is going on all of the time, just observe someone walking down the street you can see their lips moving ever so slightly as if rehearsing a conversation to come or even going over one past!
Thoughts are going on around 65,000 times a day and if you imagine your meta programme is negative you will feel negative yourself and possibly be treated this way as 'perception is projection'.
As stated earlier your life is going on automatically so however you think consciously about yourself or adopt a new behaviour you will almost default to the old behaviour, thinking now perhaps you recognise this in yourself...?
You are aware of around 7,000 of those 65,000 thoughts the rest is an automatic process that happens, so unless you consciously interrupt this pattern nothing will change in your life!
Have you noticed when you are stressed, your conscious mind literally checks out and you see the red mist and actually, excuse the expression, 'think stupid'.
I will explain in another post more about your reptilian brain that controls the three f's, food, fighting and let’s say reproduction!
Hope you enjoyed this article, if you want to contact me for further information, perhaps a confidential chat another time...feel free to do this..
Article written by Dominic Borsberry - Birmingham
My Positive Change Programmes are designed to empower and ensure you have anxiety removed,feel far calmer and your self confidence increases....
Your sub conscious mind does automatically control you,so contacting me will help you improve that relationship,drop a dress size and really start to enjoy ...
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