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Stephen Walker

The Four Agreements

Posted by Stephen Walker

44 Days Ago


It’s that time of year again—time for gatherings and celebrations at work and at home. Although these can be enjoyable times, sometimes the relationships we revisit during these events have a difficult history and seem challenging.

It is within the power of each of us to turn each moment with other people into either an opportunity for connection and growth, or a stressful encounter that can leave both parties feeling diminished.

I want to share what is known as “The Four Agreements” this is excellent advice that we can use at this time of year and throughout our lives:

This week I want to focus on the first agreement. Here it is in full:

Be Impeccable with your word: speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

What does this mean?

First of all we have to consider our Word to be much more than the construct of words and phrases that comes out of our mouth. Our Word is the force with which we create, and includes everything we express. It includes our emotions, physical actions, thoughts and our attitude. Walking around being silent while filled with hate or self-rejection doesn’t meet the meaning of impeccability.

Expressing yourself impeccably is to express yourself in the direction of truth and love. This includes expressing love, respect, and acceptance for yourself and others. It can also include honesty that provokes a discussion, but leads to more understanding, authenticity and connection between people.

People learn many habits over the years that condition them to use emotional and verbal expressions in ways that are unkind to oneself or others.

This week stop and pay attention to the words you use the most towards yourself and others. Remember that with awareness you can start any transformation.

When you communicate without criticizing, analyzing, blaming, or diagnosing yourself and others–describing your observation, sharing your feelings, and clearly and respectfully asking for your needs, you are more likely to inspire compassion and cooperation.

To keep this one seemingly simple agreement will require some time and practice. Just know that every day that you become more impeccable with your Word you will have more love and happiness in your life and in your relationships. That is the truth! And it applies for holidays, and for your whole life.

Look out for the second agreement

Stephen Walker

Article written by Stephen Walker - Bristol

My Name is Stephen Walker owner / director of Blue Water Coaching which is based in Bristol, Avon

I offer a range of stress management and coaching services to help you or your business.

With more than 25 years of experience in the corporate and NHS sector.

I can help indentify ways... [read more]

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