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Judy Bartkowiak

What is NLP and why do children respond so well to it?

Posted by Judy Bartkowiak

590 Days Ago

NLP was developed in the 1960s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the US who studied models of excellence, that is, people who were successful in all walks of life but particularly in making a difference to other people’s lives through therapy such as Virginia Satir, the family therapist and Milton Erickson, an expert in language patterns. They found that by extracting all the beliefs these people held, they could come up with a code which when used by other people, brought about great and positive change.

This code comprises a number of pre-suppositions or beliefs of excellence.
  • If you always do what you’ve always done you will always get what you’ve always got
  • The person with the most flexibility has control of the situation
  • You have all the skills to do whatever you want to do
  • If someone else can do it you can too
  • There is no failure only feedback
  • If you  only try you won’t succeed
  • Everyone's map of the world is different
  • There is a positive intention behind every behaviour
  • The meaning of the communication is the response you get
  • Mind and body are one

We work with these beliefs in mind when we work with children and teenagers.
  • We help them find their own excellence and transfer it to where they need it now.
  • We encourage them to be flexible in how they respond to people and situations.
  • We help them understand their own positive intention and find other behaviours that will work better for them and still meet this positive intention.
  • We show them how to use their mind to create more resourceful beliefs that will enable them to meet their objectives.
  • We guide them through more resourceful language patterns that will help build rapport with those they care about.
  • We help them understand how they learn best so they can apply the best learning techniques at school.
  • We set compelling outcomes with them and show them how to achieve them.
  • We show them how they can change themselves rather than expecting others to change.

These are just some of the many ways we work with children using NLP but we also teach them some quite specific techniques such as anchoring, reframing, Time Lines, visualisation, Circle of Excellence, submodalities and SWISH which they can take into their lives and use to change state and create resourceful states where they can be successful in what they want to do or be.

Why do children respond so well to NLP?

- Children are like sponges, they soak up new ideas and embrace change and choices. They have not become numbed by bitter experience or resentful. They are open and ready to learn.

- The NLP techniques and exercises are simple and easy to do and to replicate anywhere so kids can use them at school, home, anywhere

- NLP is positive, it is about focusing on what we do want not what we don’t want, focusing on when things are going well, modelling excellence, what we do well and the structure of excellence.

- We even teach that there’s no failure only feedback, how empowering is that for a child?!

- We do not prescribe, we give children choices and the more choices they have, the more flexibility and the more control they have in every situation.
Could your child or young person benefit from NLP?

Judy Bartkowiak

Article written by Judy Bartkowiak - Slough

I've worked with families all my working life as my career pre- therapy was children's market research. I was responsible for researching books, TV programmes, toys and games with families using focus groups and surveys.

I know how to get children's trust, how to engage with them and how to use... [read more]

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