Verele Vorstman Family Constellation

Verele Vorstman
Family Constellation Therapist in London

I believe that every behaviour, however maladaptive and painful, is understandable. It always comes from somewhere and it generally is a creative but unhelpful way of dealing with difficult situations. So nothing is silly or stupid. I also believe that generally people seek help when the pros of that behaviour stop outweighing the cons, as the a stage in life requires different coping. For instance, as a child you had to be submissive to please your abusive father, now as an adult you miss out on too many opportunities because your are not assertive enough.

Originally from the Netherlands I have worked internationally and currently live in London.

Background & Family Constellation Qualifications

MSc Health and Clinical Psychology
PGDip Evidence based therapies
Cert Compassionate Mind
Cert Systemic Work/ family constellations
Cert Couples therapy
Cert Online counselling

I have worked for the NHS for over a decade and am currently working with an international client group
In addition, I am BABCP accredited (for CBT)

I offer sessions in English, German and Dutch
in person and online

My Specialisms

I specialise in a practical approach to deal with the every day life reality of mental health issues -based on CBT (cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and Compassionate Mind Therapy
going to the root cause: where does it come from; why do you do this?
healing the root cause; releasing all that is not yours and keeps you stuck and unhappy.
The latter 2 both based on family constellations/ systemic work

presenting issues:
Anxiety, Panic, Social Phobia, Trichotillomania, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Perfectionism, Specific Phobia (eg spider, or needle, or heights)
Eating Disorders
Life decisions
Feeling stuck
Relationship difficulties
Attachment issues

Approach to Family Constellation & How I Work

We often confuse 'personality' with learned behaviour. Therapy, in my view, is liberating yourself from all the behaviour we learned in order to please our parents, not to lose our place in the group, to conform to rules and conventions that don't suit you. We'll be exploring what you are doing that isn't making you stronger but weaker and if the feared outcome (being rejected, being responsible, being blamed) will actually happen. We'll be exploring how to deal with anxiety and depression in helpful ways for you, so as to become more skilled at coping. And we'll be looking at what patterns there are in the family that you may be subconsciously following, even though they don't support you.

I often use imagery and visualisations (online) and playing the scene out in the room (fave to face) to find out about things that your conscious brain doesn't (want you to) know. I like to use a transgenerational approach, as every single person has patterns and maladaptive coping that they have inherited, just like we inherit the good stuff. Without releasing those, your behaviour change will be challenging and probably not last long, as the pull toward the unhelpful is still there. So I will invite you to explore patterns with me and links that you haven't even thought about, to make everything that you've done and not done understandable and making sense. Then we work on letting go. And after that we work on implementing new behaviour that is adaptive and helpful.

I use a multi modal approach, adapted to the preferences and learning style of the client. E.g., if someone is more visual we'll do more of that, if someone is more intellectual and wants to understand we'll facilitate that (and other modalities).

Approaches used:
Systemic work / family constellations
Compassionate Mind

Therapies & Rates

Please note the rates detailed below are there to give you an idea of the therapists standard rates, we strongly advise you contact the therapist for more detailed rates and any offers they may have.

Therapy Appointment Type Rate
Counselling In Person £90 per 55 minutes
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy In Person £90 per 55 minutes
Family Constellation In Person £150 per 90 minutes

Additional Rate Information

All rates similar for online sessions