Article Archive

December 2018 (6)

November 2018 (2)

October 2018 (4)

September 2018 (1)

August 2018 (2)

July 2018 (2)

June 2018 (2)

May 2018 (9)

April 2018 (3)

March 2018 (4)

February 2018 (2)

January 2018 (6)

December 2017 (1)

November 2017 (9)

October 2017 (7)

September 2017 (4)

August 2017 (4)

July 2017 (4)

June 2017 (1)

May 2017 (3)

April 2017 (4)

March 2017 (1)

February 2017 (2)

January 2017 (1)

December 2016 (5)

November 2016 (3)

October 2016 (5)

September 2016 (8)

August 2016 (6)

July 2016 (2)

June 2016 (1)

May 2016 (2)

April 2016 (8)

March 2016 (17)

February 2016 (2)

January 2016 (19)

December 2015 (7)

November 2015 (30)

October 2015 (47)

September 2015 (39)

August 2015 (36)

July 2015 (59)

This Week's Top Stories

  1. Letting Go of Struggle.
  2. Colour Therapy
  3. The war in Bosnia
  4. Statistics and History of Orphaned Children
  5. The harm in making judgements
  6. All The Lonely People
  7. Muscle Activation, My Story
  8. Insomnia and Herbal Medicine
  9. Understanding and Managing Severe Anxiety
  10. How to live more happily in these confusing stressful times we live in. Look to the positive!! Only the positive! the negative then falls away……
Shelley Cushway Dip, Cbh, Hyp

Acting 'as if' - experimenting with the change you want to develop

Posted by Shelley Cushway Dip, Cbh, Hyp

222 Days Ago


Acting ‘as if’

As part of my work as a coach and therapist I regularly ask my clients to work hard during sessions and / or complete homework in between sessions.  This sometimes entails using their imagination in session, either in or out of hypnosis, to imagine being in a situation they wish to master, using specific skills, approaches, language etc.  Or between sessions as homework, actually putting themselves in that situation and experimenting with new ways of behaving, speaking, acting and so on.  Then gathering evidence of how that feels, reviewing success, technique, approach and performance, accepting failure as a learning experience and having another go.  And doing this until the new behaviour becomes more familiar, a confidence starts to emerge and eventually mastery is achieved so that becomes the new ‘automatic’ or natural way of being.

This approach is because I know that experimenting with new behaviours, either in the imagination or ‘in vivo’, that is in real life, is one of the most effective ways we learn.  And this isn’t just a belief I have, this is backed up by evidence and research (Lazarus, Ellis, Beck etc).   So, trying new ways of being, experimenting, testing for ourselves, are all easily obtained methods for us to change, grow, develop and ultimately flourish.  I often say to my clients become your own scientist, treat everything as an experiment, gather evidence, refine and go again………….

This all came into sharp focus for me this week at a Teacher Development day for the UK College of Hypnosis & Hypnotherapy.  I work with the college as a part time Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy teacher.  Mark Davis, the college principle, by way of developing our teaching delivery, had arranged for Ashlie Walker, MD of Actors Temple to attend and run a development session with us.   All teaching sessions at the college are recorded so students can revisit sections of the course syllabus and Ashlie had been given access, so she could review our individual styles.  I noted from my position of being able to see her laptop she appeared to have a LOT of notes on each of us!!!

She started the session with ‘acting’ style warm ups involving movement, pace changes, use of voice, face pulling and so on.  All partly fun and partly out of my comfort zone already – being the ‘funny one’ has never been my skill set.  We then brainstormed the qualities we would want to be see and be as a teacher.  Identifying such things as passionate, caring, inspirational, knowledgeable, playful and so on.

Then with the ever-present video camera filming us we each in turn stepped up to the middle of the room to teach a session to our peers.  The first run through was in our natural style, then after some warm and fuzzy feedback from our colleagues and some nicely focused, constructive and stretching feedback from Ashlie we went again.  Now to start ‘acting as if’.  Then more challenging feedback came with Ashlie encouraging us to be brave, take risks, be playful………. we continued ‘acting as if’ we had these stretching qualities.  In my session my colleagues were encouraged to be distracted, disruptive and demanding of my attention.  The purpose was for me to learn that I could drop my ever-present smile and encouraging demeanour and keep the focus on point, not get drawn in to side issues that detract from the core subject and the majority of students learning.   Some of my colleagues had great fun with this, Mark, our principle was particularly naughty.  But, and this is a big BUT, by the end of my session, much as I was dying to sit back in my place and emotionally exhausted I had learned a huge amount about what I can do and achieve.  How I can adapt and change my style and the benefits of doing that.  By ‘acting as if’ I had started to feel the change and see the results of that.

Ashlie was amazing, she coached us in an inspiring way and one that I hope I capture when working with my clients.  I renewed the respect I have for my clients, appreciating the fact that they have taken action to change things in their lives and are prepared to push themselves out of their comfort zones to do it.  And I reminded myself that sometimes the discomfort, stretch and fear are all things we can harness to push ourselves and attain more, and by being brave enough to ‘act as if’ we can start to embody those aspirations.

So, thank you Ashlie and thank you Mark for providing the platform, I am better for it.

If you would like to make the decision to do something different today and would like to explore how coaching could help you can contact me on shelley@mindpower.uk.com or via www.mindpower.uk.com

Shelley Cushway Dip, CBH, Hyp

Article written by Shelley Cushway Dip, Cbh, Hyp - Yapton

I am an integrated therapist specialising in solution based therapy focused on supporting you to reach your potential.

One of my passions is working with people to help them reach their goals and their potential. And this can be in a variety of ways; developing your sense of self-esteem, feeling more confident... [read more]

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Hypnotherapy
Life Coaching
Meditation
Mindfulness
NLP

View Profile


Find us on Facebook Follow us on Twitter

© Find a Private Tutor Ltd, 2014 / View our Privacy Policy / Website by Simon Hix.