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Neemisha Naugah

Are you still people pleasing because you have the good girl/boy syndrome?

Posted by Neemisha Naugah NLP Practitioner 89 Days Ago


You have been the good child throughout your life. Always obedient, kind, quiet, pleasing, tidy and smiling. As a child, others have complimented you about your good behaviour. But now as an adult, you feel exhausted, burnout, lost, worthless, small, depressed, anxious, confused and invisible. You don't know what you want and cannot make decisions for yourself. Does this feel familiar to you? If it does, I got you!  I was the good girl throughout my life and know how damaging as an adult. It even took me years to realise I have the good girl syndrome. I have been people pleasing for approval and validation my whole life. 

Personally, the good girl syndrome took a toll on my physical body, emotions, belief system and soul.The constant burden on my shoulders, the tightness in my jaws, the headaches, the fear, shame and guilt, feeling unworthy and not belonging are all soul crushing.

The good girl/boy syndrome has been formed by your parents who wanted you to be a “good girl/boy”. They told you to be quiet, to be obedient, to stay quiet, to not disturb and challenge adults. And if you follow their good intended yet restricting orders they will keep giving their love to you as gifts and adoration.

Yet what was formed during childhood is still living instead of the adult you. Deep inside it keeps you as that little suppressed, lost small girl/boy. you must be asking of raising the good girl/boy is so damaging, then why do parents raise their children as so? Short answer is because it is easier to manage and control a child who is good, obedient, complies without challenging, conforms to the rules of the house and does not ask for anything.  The good child does not complain, rebel and is most of the time in fear of upsetting parents, teachers and society in general.

Many of my clients feel that they still think and act like the child they were conditioned to be during childhood. This is because this behaviour is instilled into them since childhood and will carry into adulthood if not addressed. Unfortunately the good girl/boy carries psychological scars and trauma as an adult. They feel unloved, unappreciated, unworthy and have a lot of unresolved fear, guilt and shame. They had to suppress their true authentic self to please  and get the approval of their parents. As an adult they feel lost because they cannot be their real self. 

Are you ready to free the good girl/boy and start living your adult life?

  • Feel safe
  • Speak up
  • Put yourself first
  • Heal childhood wounds and trauma
  • Follow your heart's desires
  • Reclaim your power
  • Give yourself permission to succeed and achieve
  • Set healthy boundaries
  • Own your worth
  • Create better relationships
  • Discover your true needs and desires
  • Go from struggle to “flow.” Re-define self-care and implement it daily
  • Feel more connected to life. Know that you truly belong
  • Step into your purpose and dreams; go for what you really want.

Healing the good girl syndrome within me, helped to improve every ares of my life...my relationships, my worth, my business and social life. If you have the good girl/boy syndrome and are ready to release yourself from the conditioning and programming, then please contact me. It is time to save that little good girl/boy stuck within you. Together, we can work on allowing the good girl/boy to speak up, see how she/he feels and what are her/his needs.

It was not your fault. It never was. Know that you are worthy and deserve to have your needs met.