Let us look at those 5 methods in more detail:
Competing
Key features include:
My interests at your expense!
Power orientated
'I win' situation
This style in which one's needs are advocated over the needs of others relies on an aggressive style of communication. There is low regard for future relationships and the exercise of coercive power. Those using this style tend to seek control over a discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result in solutions that fail to meet their own needs.
Accommodating
Key features include:
Focusing on other peoples' concerns over and above your own needs Could be self-sacrifice, obeying or giving in
Also known as smoothing. People using this style yield their needs to those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow the needs of the group to overwhelm their own, which may not ever be stated because preserving the relationship is seen as most important to them.
Avoiding
Key features include:
'Head in the sand' approach
Conflict is avoided at all costs
Side stepping, postponing and withdrawing
A common response to the negative perception of conflict. We say to ourselves."Perhaps if we don't bring it up, it will blow over" Generally all that happens is feelings get pent up, views get unexpressed, and the conflict festers until it becomes too big to ignore. Like a disease that may well have been cured if treated early, the conflict grows and spreads until it kills a relationship. Because needs and concerns go unexpressed, people are often confused, wondering what went wrong in a relationship.
Collaborating
Key features include:
Working together for a solution
'Win Win' situation
Exploring,listening, learning
Solution focused
The pooling of individuals' needs and goals toward a common goal. Often called 'win-win problem-solving,' this style requires assertive communication and cooperation in order to achieve a better solution than either individual could have achieved alone. It offers the chance for consensus, the integration of needs and the potential to exceed the 'budget of possibilities' that previously limited different views of the conflict. It brings new time, energy, and ideas to resolve the dispute meaningfully.
Compromising
Key features include:
Finding the middle ground
Splitting the difference
This style is an approach to conflict in which people both gain and give in a series of tradeoffs. Whilst satisfactory, it is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped by our individual perceptions of our needs and don't necessarily understand the other side very well. We often retain a lack of trust and avoid risk-taking.
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