Conflict Management

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Shelley  Edwards

Conflict Management

Posted by Shelley  Edwards 452 Days Ago

Conflict is viewed as disruptive and therefore needs

to be controlled and changed so that it doesn’t

create excessive emotional or physical stress



Have you ever had to manage a difficult situation?  I suspect the answer is yes as it is a very common thing.
How do you think you did?
Some of us like it, some of us hate it, but the truth is that as we meander through life we will come across it.
Some of us are very good at managing it and some of us will run and hide.
Either way,  I hope this brief Newsletter will help you.


There are 4 levels to conflict


Conflict has a way of growing and taking on a life of its own as it escalates.

I invite you to think of times in the past where there has been conflict, at home, work or socially.  Maybe it was when you were a customer or just driving down the road.

How do you think you handled it?
What could you have done better?
How would you do things differently if it was to happen again?
What are your key learning points?

There are 5 methods we can deal with conflict:


It is important to note that when we communicate with others we judge ourselves on our intention but others judge us on the impact that the communication has.

Let us look at those 5 methods in more detail:

Key features include:
My interests at your expense!
Power orientated
'I win' situation
This style in which one's needs are advocated over the needs of others relies on an aggressive style of communication. There is low regard for future relationships and the exercise of coercive power. Those using this style tend to seek control over a discussion, in both substance and ground rules. They fear that loss of such control will result in solutions that fail to meet their own needs.

Key features include:
Focusing on other peoples' concerns over and above your own needs Could be self-sacrifice, obeying or giving in
Also known as smoothing. People using this style yield their needs to those of others, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to allow the needs of the group to overwhelm their own, which may not ever be stated because preserving the relationship is seen as most important to them.
Key features include:
'Head in the sand' approach
Conflict is avoided at all costs
Side stepping, postponing and withdrawing
A common response to the negative perception of conflict.  We say to ourselves."Perhaps if we don't bring it up, it will blow over"  Generally all that happens is feelings get pent up, views get unexpressed, and the conflict festers until it becomes too big to ignore. Like a disease that may well have been cured if treated early, the conflict grows and spreads until it kills a relationship. Because needs and concerns go unexpressed, people are often confused, wondering what went wrong in a relationship.
Key features include:
Working together for a solution
'Win Win' situation
Exploring,listening, learning
Solution focused
The pooling of individuals' needs and goals toward a common goal. Often called 'win-win problem-solving,' this style requires assertive communication and cooperation in order to achieve a better solution than either individual could have achieved alone. It offers the chance for consensus, the integration of needs and the potential to exceed the 'budget of possibilities' that previously limited different views of the conflict. It brings new time, energy, and ideas to resolve the dispute meaningfully.
Key features include:
Finding the middle ground
Splitting the difference
This style is an approach to conflict in which people both gain and give in a series of tradeoffs. Whilst satisfactory, it is generally not satisfying. We each remain shaped by our individual perceptions of our needs and don't necessarily understand the other side very well. We often retain a lack of trust and avoid risk-taking.


Now go back to those situations in the past and decide which method you used.

Obviously when we collaborate we get the win win!
Collaborating will also be a good alternative but the less we compete, accommodate and avoid when it comes to conflict the better it is for us.

I have a lot of clients that have needed help with managing conflict at home and at work and it is my pleasure to be able to Coach, Train and Mentor my clients through the good and the challenging times in all areas of their life.

If you would like to get in touch, I offer a free no obligation 20 minute phone consultation in order to discuss your needs and requirements.

You can contact me on 07505 600719
or via the email tab and social media and website buttons below.

Kindest Regards


Shelley Edwards
Progress to Success


Shelley  Edwards

Article written by Shelley  Edwards  - Southampton

Hi, my name is Shelley Edwards and I am an NLP Life Coach, Corporate and Executive Coach, Mentor and Trainer, Business Coach, a Radio Producer and Presenter and qualified Yoga Teacher.

I am truly passionate about life coaching and helping people to make a difference and achieve success. As a very natural... [read more]

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