I'll never be able to do this,' or 'You know, people are born with talent and I'm not'? In my work with leaders all around Australia, I hear those words way too often and every time I hear them, I brace myself to halt the conversation. And, here's the thing: the way we think about our capabilities not only affects our self talk, it actually rewires our brains, and therefore, our trajectory for success.

Now let me give you an anecdote that will explain. This last year I was coaching Alexi, a regional manager for a logistics company based in Melbourne. She'd been passed over for promotion twice, and when we first started working together, she knew, beyond any shred of doubt, that she simply wasn't "executive material." "And I said, David, some people are natural born leaders, and I'm not his mother, right?"

Six months later Alexi was promoted to State Operations Manager. How much you can take before a task slips beyond your grasp is entirely transparent. And what changed was not her actual capacity; it was her mindset. And what's interesting is, as we now know from research in neuroscience, that move literally changed the function of her brain; it changed what her brain was doing physically.

The Science of Change, at Least When It Comes to Climate

Something that would have been positively science fiction not too many decades ago: our brains reconfigure themselves (in the technical language, they reconfigure their connections amongst synapses) in response to how we think and what we do. Scientists refer to this as neuroplasticity, and it serves as the biological foundation for what psychologists call the "growth mindset."

Each time Alexi said yes to some risky project she'd have avoided in the past, each time she went seeking feedback, not recoiling in defensiveness, each time she reframed failure as learning, she was strengthening neural connections in her brain. Consider this: If your brain were a garden, a growth mindset is the difference between letting weeds take over or consciously caring for the plants you want to grow.

I have seen this transformation a thousandfold in my coaching practice. There's Marcus, the small business owner in Brisbane who once fled across the road rather than confronting his staff about conversations he found unpalatable and is now being hailed for his empathetic approach to leadership. There's Jennifer, a Perth based accountant who changed the culture of her firm after she began to embrace the concept of 'intelligent failures', mistakes from which she had learnt a lesson that would guide her future decisions.

The Barriers Inside Our Heads

The problem is that for many of us, we have years (decades, even!) of this "fixed mindset programming" playing out in our minds! We were brought up with the idea that intelligence is fixed, talent is something you either have or don't have, and if something is difficult then it's not for you.

That's exactly what occurs in Australian workplaces, every day of the week. Teams that won't take on stretch projects for fear they won't pan out. Leaders who barricade themselves behind a wall of yes people because constructive criticism is just too darn scary. People who remain in those bastions of comfort and familiarity, because everything else seems just too dangerous to venture towards.

But here's what I've learnt working with hundreds of leaders: the biggest risk is not the risk of failing, it's sitting still when the world is changing.

The Little Changes That Will Make You a Lot Happier

The great news about a growth mindset is that you don't need a personality transplant. It starts with small, intentional shifts in the way we perceive hardships and hurdles.

Take feedback, for example. I ask my classes whether they can remember the last performance review they received. People who have a fixed mindset choose to remember praise (which confirms their self image) or criticism (which validates their self image). But growth mindset leaders? Because of feedback, they recall what they said they would do.

I learnt this in training decades ago when I began to coach myself. One client once told me I was presenting the material in a manner that was "too academic" for their team. My reflexive response was defensive, after all I was qualified and experienced. But then I thought, well maybe this is exactly the criticism I need. Over the following month, I learnt how to turn complex ideas into concise, practical takeaways. The censure was one of the best gifts I ever received.

Where the Magic Happens: Outside Your Comfort Zone

And here is the big thing that every leader who I have spoken to, worked with, who has undergone deep transformation, they all share a common thread, and it's that they've learnt how to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. They know that growth happens at the edge of their skill level.

I recall that I was paired up with a team leader I think his name was David ( Yes we have another David! he was "deathly afraid of public speaking" at the time. His company was evolving so fast and as it was, he was required to stand and deliver in a room in front of 200 people. Instead of working out how to escape it, we sweepingly set about taking our first steps to turn the situation into an opportunity for development. We broke it down into pieces, we rehearsed and rehearsed, and most important of all, we got him to stop thinking about "What if I look like a jerk?" to "What will I learn?"

The presentation went well, but it was more than that. What David had actually won was the realisation that he could expand his comfort zone. Six months later, he was worming his hand in the air to lead client presentations.

The Australian Leadership Advantage

One of the things I like about working with Australian leaders is the cultural readiness to "have a go". We are not a nation of quitters, and we have a decent amount of respect for effort and resilience. These are some growth mindset parts of ourselves.

But sometimes our tall poppy syndrome serves us poorly. I've had so many fantastic leaders who are compelled to pull themselves in a little bit, not to overreach, not to be arrogant or who have internalised these messages about "keeping to their lane". Not that you are already great, but that you can be great, and that you can be great by working hard.

Getting Personal: Your Growth Mindset Plan

This is what I recommend all the leaders I work with do: Start paying attention to where your narrative is. The next time some challenge this week makes you feel weak, irredeemable, or simply small, notice whether what comes first to mind is "I cannot do this" or "I cannot do this yet."

Yet", that tiny little word, changes everything. It acknowledges where you are, but gives you permission to grow. It's the difference between a dead end and a detour.

Begin to treat failures as data and not a judgement. "What did I learn? What would I do differently next time something goes wrong? How do I allow this experience to mould me to be a more healed and resilient being?"

But most importantly you can begin to search for challenges that test you. Not recklessly, intelligently. The place where you want to land is somewhere that's challenging but not overwhelming, where you're forced to expand in order to rise to the occasion.

The Ripple Effect

The best part of this work: I love the ripple effect of that growth mindset transformation on all the people in that person's world. Alexi, the logistics planner I spoke with earlier, didn't just change the course of her life. She started encouraging her team to volunteer for stretch assignments, fostering a culture of intelligent risk taking, and also instigated what she was dubbed "Failure Fridays", where the team would meet each week and share what they had learnt from their mistakes.

Performance throughout her entire department improved, as did staff engagement scores, and turnover decreased. One person's choice to step into the growth was viral and became infectious across dozens of others.

Your Journey Starts Now

That is because, as a mentor of my own said to me, "Becoming a leader you admire, David, it's not about finding your secret hidden talent." Instead, it's a decision to be a learner, someone who is open and growing."

Even the evidence, the examples, the opportunity is all right there, staring you in the face for the taking. Your brain is ready to be rewired, your power is ready to be unlocked, and your team is ready to be inspired by your growth.