Posted by Alex Koop 1403 Days Ago
What is an empath?
An empath is a person who is more (emotionally) sensitive than the average human. He/she can hence easily empathise with other beings, sometimes to the extent of actually being able to feel another beings’ emotions or thoughts him/herself.
If you are an empath you might e.g. notice that you feel different when being in certain places, or around certain people. This can go both ways, you might e.g. get despondent and doubtful when around a sceptic/ atheist, or uplifted and cheerful around an optimist. Pretty much everyone has some energy sensitivities, even (self-proclaimed?) non-intuitive people will probably have noticed that being at a party with miserable people will drag them down somewhat, whereas going to a party with happy, loving and positive people will usually make them feel better too….The abilities of an empath can go much deeper though, they might e.g. (physically) feel the pain of a sick person, or might feel someone’s depression, fear, stress, happiness etc., even if they do not show these emotions explicitly. They might be able to see through lies etc. Different empaths might have different sensitivities, so do excuse me if I do not mention everything about you in this blog.
How did I discover I am an empath?
I actually discovered this before I even read articles about empaths. Working as a masseur and spiritual healer I started to notice that certain clients would make me feel specifically different - sometimes for hours before or after I saw them. With some clients it can be quite pronounced. My observations became even more meaningful when some clients turned into regular clients, and I felt their specific energies more than ones. Seeing clients more than once enables me to judge more clearly if some feeling is my own, or indeed because of a particular client. Besides a client’s emotional state and wellbeing, there seem to be additional potential influences, such as a client’s job, geographical/ ethnic origin, religious affiliations etc, which can affect me, and the way I feel when I see them. After having monitored these effects for years, they have, in my estimate, become less and less likely to be coincidence, or simply figments of my imagination. What adds to this estimation too is, that, at times, such energies can start and cease quite suddenly. What I feel might not always be easy to pin point, or to identify exactly, and I would not call myself a (100%) reliable psychic, but to me there is enough evidence to affirm my self-diagnosis. – N.B. I actually used to reject that I might take on other peoples’ energies for years. I believed that I might react to them, due to e.g. old karmic events, but not that I simply feel their energies. Since embracing the philosophy that I am an empath though – life has become easier. I guess before I allowed for negative energies, disaffecting me, to be from e.g. my clients, I used to get them none-the-less. I took them on as my own though, and hence got stuck with them for longer. Nowadays I just let them pass through – not resisting, and they seem to pass faster for it!
Having read several articles about empaths I have found several points that, from personal experience, I do not agree with – so besides providing you with some potential self-help tools, with this blog, I’d like to clarify few points too!
Why do empaths feel the way they feel?
I have come to understand that having meditated for years, and having worked with Light-(spiritual) energies a lot, has made me quite ‘light’ myself. This has had some consequences. Besides (in good times) being happier, more unconditionally loving and stronger, I have become more sensitive and intuitive as well. Most empath I have talked to seem to be more than average spiritual too, more compassionate, more unconditionally loving , etc. - so I assume that most are quiet ‘bright’ shining as well. (But please note that having empathic abilities is no guarantee of good character, not every empath might use their ability for good. For such individuals I am not quite sure what the mechanisms behind their abilities might be)
The way I see it - everything is energy. There is positive (divine) energies , such as (unconditional) Love, happiness, compassion, truth, wisdom etc. , which are usually described as ‘Light’ energies, and there is more confused energies – hate, anger , fear, guilt, sadness etc, which are dark or grey. One could also call the positive ones LEEs – Life Enhancing Energies, and the negative ones LLEs – Life Limiting Energies. (Discussing the origin of confused energies and why they exist, is beyond the scope of this article – but feel free to peruse my book – Tours and Cures of a Lightsoldier, where I discuss them in greater depth). LLEs, such as e.g. fears, seem to feed of us giving in to them, so they have a self-preserving interest to keep us in fear (I assume and feel, that since everything is part of creation, everything has some degree of consciousness, including energies.) Now both LEEs and LLEs are to a degree infectious. Plus there is the argument that Light energies raise awareness and help understand truths – like physical darkness cannot prevail in the face of light, many darker energies cannot prevail in the presence of light energies. I.e. when LLEs encounter a lighter being, they potentially feel threatened, and might resist! So if you are a (bright) empath, get invited to a party with negative minded people, you might get resisting feelings of not wanting to go before setting off (for no good reason), sent by their LLEs. Or if I e.g. have a client that does not like himself every much, I might get feelings of dislike for him (even though I have no rational reason to), as he apparently projects his self-dislike onto me. He expects others to dislike him. Alternatively I have found that it is not just energy resistances or projections that affect me, often it actually seems that LLEs seek me out, as a way-out/ a channel out. They are tired of being the bad boy, and just want to go home - into the Light. A bit like a toddler tries to communicate by crying, the main way LLEs can communicate is through whatever they currently are– fear, depression, anger, guilt, frustration, jealousy etc. So if an empath feels fear, for no good reason, it might just be a fear energy trying to get his/ her attention, asking them to channel them ‘out’, or pray for their safe removal…
What mis-understandings make being an empath worse?
As mentioned before, a great error to make, being an empath, is to not understand that one is an empath. Under such circumstances one potentially still gets LLEs from others, but one personalizes them, thinking they are one’s own. It used to drive me potty. I used to repeatedly search through my childhood for traumatic experiences, which might disaffect me in adulthood, but except for a few non-invited birthday parties there really was not much else to find. I had forgiven myself and all involved (for the non-invited birthday parties) several times, had a thoroughly positive spiritual understanding of life, but I still kept on feeling sick, exhausted and depressed for years. Even worse, I feared that my negativities might affect those around me negatively. I guess I allowed others to be empathic, but not myself, and or I feared that my negative thoughts and emotions might ‘create’ negatives for myself and my life (including others). Another misconception I had was – that I believed, that once I had e.g. cleansed out all anger (out of my bodies), I would never feel anger again. I’d meditate for hours/ days trying to rid myself of a particular negative emotion, just to feel it again, hours or days after. I had to understand that I am an empath, and as such I’ll keep on getting e.g. anger energies (from the outside) – the cleansing process is an ongoing one (for now). Another misconception I had to debunk was that – if one feels negativities one is either not bright enough yet (to repel them), or one has not asked for enough spiritual help! If I have a heavily depressed client, and get hit by his/ her depression acutely, (whereas they might have had years to chronically get used to them), it can be very uncomfortable. I though ask for as much divine help as necessary, possible, available and sensible, as far reaching and complex as necessary, possible, available and sensible - always(!) – to then still believe that I do not ask for enough help, would be masochistic. I have also prayed to be as bright and clear as possible; to understand, and clear out any confusions, in myself, that could make my being (and healing work) more difficult and even painful. I have asked such for the last 19+ years. Sure, I may get lighter yet in future, but to fear myself not bright enough, and somehow self-responsible for my empathy, would likely be wrong! Most articles I read just recommend that empath visualize themselves as a bright beacon of Light, in a bubble of Light, or similar – doing such for a few minutes supposedly fixes all of an empaths’ problems. If that were so, I would be ecstatic all the time. Heck, I’d be an all-LLE-destroying power-laser by now! I also read that if one gets negative energies from others during or outside of healing work, one has some self-punishing or masochistic programs left inside. Again, I have become aware of such potential very early in my spiritual career, and honestly prayed, to be cleansed off all such self-punishing programs – but I still get disaffected by people’s/ client’s energies. So nowadays I just understand them as – as of yet unavoidable. I also recently read that – we all have blind-spots, i.e. areas of our being that are still confused and that we cannot ‘see’/ uncover ourselves – we are always dependent on the help of outsiders! Not sure if the author was trying to sell her services? Sure it is great to help one another, but it is dependent on time, money etc. too. Also if you work with the Light – you automatically have tons of outside (spiritual) help anyway… Hence I’d say it is possibly to go it alone (from a human perspective). Being an empath I actually found, that it can be difficult to find acceptable human help anyway. I tried some ‘professional’ therapists, where it ended up feeling as if I had to do more healing for them, during our sessions, than they actually did for me! And I am not so sure if there is too many therapists yet, who understand empathy. Understand it as a psychic ability too, and not class it as psychosis. (I am sure there is some though, so if you want outside help, just make sure you vet your therapists beforehand, or see if they advertise empath support specifically). Last but not least I read – ‘to visualize protections against negative energies, is to deny the empathic part of yourself. Embrace it, do not deny it!’ Maybe the author is not all that empathic herself, and has never ended up with strong LLEs off others, to write such romantic drivel? (Excuse my language.) As an empath you likely still have to hold down a job, maybe look after a family etc. If I wanted to, I could possibly spend most of my day in meditation, dealing with confused energies, wanting out, resisting etc. – I would just not get anything else done anymore! I.e. I ask for as many protections as necessary, possible, available and sensible – to make my life as effortless and enjoyable as possible. I do feel sorry for LLEs, they are part of Creation too, and I am definitely not against helping them, but I refuse for them to take over my life completely. I do love my neighbours, but I do not love them more than myself!
Empath Self-help tools?
Spiritual tools: Self-healing can be a complex process, at times painful, and it can take a while - but I believe it does not take forever. I.e. if one has honestly confronted oneself and one’s (past) demons, practiced forgiveness and asked for divine healing-help to (re-)discover one’s true, light, divine self - that process might take a few months, maybe even a couple of years, but it should not take decades. Our bodies are not that large, it should not take years to cleanse them off all past negativities. If you still suffer, regardless of plenty of self-healing work, maybe even more so – perhaps you have turned into an empath too (or you were one all along, and have become ever more fine tuned)!? Embrace it, and stop feeling responsible for other people’s negativities – stop identifying them as your own. (Obviously one can have both empathically received LLEs, and still self-generate negative emotions, or hold e.g. non-dissolved/-forgiven trauma energies, at the same time. It can, at times, be difficult to distinguish exactly which emotions are my own, and which received from the outside. That process gets easier with time though. And the main thing is that one does not ‘insist’ that every emotion one feels is one’s own (especially if they do not make much sense, and are out of your usual character.) Even though, as already mentioned, I have not found any spiritual (visualization) tools, which enable me to turn off, or block, my empath abilities completely, the following tools can help to potentially tone them down, and or make disaffecting LLEs stop, or pass (through) speedier. (N.B. All the following tools can obviously be recommended to, and used by non-empaths as well!)
Energy upgrades for Empaths – If you have never done so - you might want to check if you have all the best and strongest energy systems available and sensible. Maybe there is e.g. healer/ Lightworker chakras vs. normal chakras? i.e. if one does not just process one’s own emotions, but helps others to do so too, there could be a greater energy through put, and ones chakras might require according ‘upgrades’ to deal with such? So I ask/ pray that all my energy bodies and systems are optimized, whenever necessary, possible, available and sensible, and dedicate the occasional meditation time to these processes.
Energy Healing, Protection, Cleansing and Recharging Tools for Empaths –
Bubble of Light –This simple visualization can help keep some LLEs out. It can have some comforting effects, plus it can help you be more in your own energy, be more centred, and not be drawn in as much into other people’s negative energies/ dramas. You just visualize, imagine, pray or ask for a perfect, divine, healing, and protecting Bubble of Light – around you and your aura. Ask that the bubble is self-cleansing, self-healing, self-regenerating, and self-protecting. It should do it’s best to keep LLEs out, or channel them out, before they ‘hit’ you, but be semi-permeable to let in LEEs effortlessly. Ones you have visualized, or asked for your Bubble, you do not necessarily have to think about it anymore. It’ll stick around for a while. Ones you are in the Bubble, you’ll breathe in Light, and you allow your bodies to release negative and stale energies via the breath. The Light will then take such released energies, and take them to a cosmic energy rehabilitation centre (i.e. you do not have to worry about them floating about, reattaching, or disaffecting others). If you fear that, feeling negative, you might disaffect your surroundings (people, pets etc.) – just pray for (continuous) protections and healing of your surroundings too. Chances are your surroundings disaffect you more than vice-versa! You can obviously also visualize Bubbles around beings especially dear to you.
Pillars of Light and other large scale tools – The way I understand it, Lightworkers (or Lightsoldiers, as I call them) are not just channels for Light to come into our Earth-plane, but, at times at least, and if absolutely unavoidable, channels for negative energies to get out/ go home too. So, to make my life and healing work, as un-pestered (by LLEs, and as effortless as possible, I generally ask for as much divine healing help, and LLE cleansing-out help, as necessary, possible, available and sensible; as far reaching and complex as necessary, possible, available and sensible. I also ask for/ visualise - Pillars of Light all-around my town, (world-wide even, if necessary, available and sensible), to make it easy for LLEs to leave (if they want to), without needlessly disaffecting Lightworkers! If you have not already – do tell the Divine too, to ignore any conscious or subconscious restrictions you might still hold, with regards to the amount, strength and frequency of divine help you receive. Tell the Divine that you do not want to suffer and that you want your life to be as happy, loving and effortless as possible…. Sometimes I find it helps to talk to energies disaffecting me too, such as: 'Calm down guys, you have all been noted and seen. You are going home. No need to worry and overcrowd me. And please, try to not negatively affect me, as you are passing through. Also have a look around, I have asked for alternative channels out (Light-pillars etc.), so please use them too...!' There is obviously other visualizations you can use. You could e.g. visualize armies of Angels flying over an area and raining down Love or Healing Light. In my experience it can useful to go larger scale with ones healing requests. E.g. some empaths might be (dis-)affected by collective subconscious energies (e.g. I can get loads of resisting energies before travelling to certain countries), or some e.g. human LLEs might have ‘back-up’ LLE-structures in the outside, which, if we do not ask for their removal too, can just replace any cleansed out LLEs, with new ones… (There is no need to be modest with ones (justified) healing requests - ever. Empath have a right to a happy, non-suffering life, just like every being does. If that should require large scale healings, so be it. They might take a bit longer to work through, but I am confident that a.) there is enough divine help to materialise them all, and b.) they are more than happy to help.)
Grounding for Empaths - Besides all the above, I find it very important to stay connected to healthy, divine Earth energies, to be ‘grounded’ as much and best as possible. Grounding seems to be one of the main tools of our energy bodies to get rid of negative and stale energies, as well as recharge - so it is good to have that connection! To ground just visualize, imagine, pray or ask for two beams of Light, coming up from deep in the Earth, and connecting to your heels. Once you have visualized the connection, it will be established, and once you are connected, the Earth energies will pull out negative and stale energies, and give you fresh energies up! Well, it is nice to (at least once) ask the Earth energies for this help, but not 100% essential (I have done so for you already). As with the Bubble, once you are connected, you can stay with your attention on the connection, and try to ‘feel’ the connection, feel how energies move in and out, or how they move up into your body (i.e. use it as a meditation), but you do not have to. It is a bit like stepping into the shower. Once we have turned on the tap, the water runs, regardless of us thinking about it or not. The Earth energy will look after any negative and stale energies removed, rehabilitate them, or send them on for rehab somewhere else.
NB.: I love doing the Bubble and the Grounding together, and I love doing them when I do my cardio at the gym. Especially on the cross trainer, I can close my eyes and really go into it. (Please do not close your eyes on the treadmill though!). Sometimes I might breath Light into specific areas – like a pain in my body, or am emotion I want to release – to try to shift them, and breath them out.
Energy Cleansing for Empaths – I do feel that our bodies have tools to digest and or excrete LLEs to a certain degree. It feels though, as if our lives are too busy nowadays, there is too many stresses, fears, frustrations etc. for our bodies to handle them all completely. In other words, at the end of the day, we will likely have some LLEs left over. Unless we use tools to help remove such energies, they can accumulate, and will likely not make us any happier and healthier in the long run. As empaths especially we might not just deal with our own energies, but those of other’s too, so empaths can be overwhelmed by LLEs sooner, and regular energy cleansings are even more important. Furthermore LLEs might function as portals for more LLEs to circumvent regular protections. Basic cleansing tools are e.g. the above described Bubble of Light, and Grounding exercises. If you get bored of them, or want to become more specific in your work – look into e.g. chakra cleansing meditations, and do not forget to work on your back-chakras too (as that is, were in my understanding, LLEs from the past accumulate). For cleansing out specific emotions, character traits, thoughts, believes or maladies you can use the:
Handing over Tool for Empaths – A very simple and elegant tool. If you e.g. want to get rid of a particular fear, you just say a prayer along the line of: ‘I hand this fear over to the Divine/ Ultimate Good/ God (or whatever you want to call the benevolent Higher Powers you believe in), and I thank you for taking it off me, and take it in for cosmic rehabilitation. Thank You! Amen (the Amen is optional, you could also e.g. say ‘So be it’, ‘Go’ or ‘Start’.) Once you have said the prayer you might notice that you start to breathe deeper and slower, as you start to breathe off, whatever you are releasing. You can breathe off more than one emotion at a time, but if you try too many at once, it might come to energy blockages, at bottlenecks, such as our chakras. Therefore it is prudent to ask/ pray for all cleansing processes to be orderly, and to consider the capacities of your bodies/ energy systems. (After using this tool a lot, for a few months, I stopped saying the whole formula altogether. Spirit already knows what we want to do next. So I started to just give them this tiny nod, notifying them, and thanking them, as I’d be about to breath out some stuff.) Using this tool is so much easier than e.g. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and without any funny tapping sequences, it can be done wherever and whenever. It can also remove LLEs, without making them come to the surface first, and feeling them again (even though you might feel them somewhat, as they are being released)!
Forgiveness Tool for Empaths – Another powerful tool. If you have a problematic relationship with someone, whoever really – just say: ‘I forgive myself, I forgive x,y,z – I let go in Love, and I ask the Divine for perfect (relationship) healings. Thank You! Amen/ So be it/ Start.’ If a relationship is/ was rather traumatic, you might have to say this quite a few times, but every time you do, you heal some unhealthy energies connecting you to that person/ being. Here too, there might be some breathing off connected!
If you become as conscientious and zealous about energy work as I do, even the above, relative quick practical tools might become too cumbersome after a while. If you are a newbie, I would definitely give them a try first though. They are great for one’s self-confidence, and confidence in Spirit, and their help. Being able to become more of a master over one’s emotions is truly liberating. Over the years I realized though that Spirit is very pragmatic. If you truly want to heal, and help others heal – they know. By now I rarely even still visualize, or pray anything specific. The Divine’s willingness to help us is immense and unconditional – and they are more than happy with all-encompassing, economic on-off prayers. The Divine knows I do not want to suffer, and I have asked for 24/7 support – as much as necessary, possible, available and sensible - Unlimited support, including obviously all necessary energy healings, cleansings, protections, recharges and optimizations. For myself, my bodies and my life! I meditate when I can, or feel like it, but I am confident that any LLEs that do come to me, will be removed ASAP! (For a perfect prayer see – here) But please be patient too. I definitely feel so much more empowered with all my tools and the confidence to know that I am helped (plus I often actually feel the Divine’s energies helping), BUT at times I can still become swamped with LLEs too. Be it from a e.g. particularly depressed client, some cosmic event, or when e.g. traveling to some countries. It is a bit like bad psychic weather. Some true storms indeed. These days I know that they all always pass, but that does not make the hours, or even days, when they are there that much more comfortable. The only consolation is, that after such episodes I am confident that a lot of negative energies will have been removed from this planet. And that can only help in the long run, and make my life more effortless and enjoyable.
Physical tools: Some of the greatest improvements to my well-being came through finding physical tools to support my body and immune system. I used to think my body was incompetent, or in cahoots with confused energies (I did have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for several years) - until I understood that I am an empath, and my body has constantly been healing itself, again and again, from potential negative effects, of LLEs passing through, or resisting. Personally, what really helped me was taking enough Vit. D3, and or making sure I get enough sun-exposure (meditating with the Sun can be very powerful). Furthermore regular, strong pro-biotics really help (I usually drink Kombucha, and make my own Kefir). I also like to take Milk-Thistle – an anti-oxidant herb for the liver. The liver, I read, spiritually, is the main organ to digest emotions, so supporting it seems to make sense. Furthermore I seem to benefit from (methylated-)Vitamin B12. As with all food supplements – do read up yourself about potential side-effects, dosage etc. Especially if you take medication, are under medical treatment, or pregnant - do talk to your health-care provider first! And all that said, a reasonably healthy general life-style with your 5-a-day, and some exercise is, of course, sensible! Also do not forget to rest and get some me-time to recuperate, if ever possible. Personally I do try to have a day or two off per week - if I see clients 7 days a week, and get their tiredness, frustrations etc. continuously, it becomes harder to not believe that those feelings might not indeed be my own. Obviously there is plenty of other things you can consider to improve your wellbeing, e.g. Reiki session, aromatherapy, acupuncture, or massage. And to cleanse ones energies one can have (sea) salt baths, smudge herbs (e.g. sage), burn incense, put up salt lamps, use sound, such as singing bowls or gongs, etc., etc …
To conclude –
Being an empath usually means that you are more intuitive and sensitive than most. It can be great help to understand others, help them heal, and or resolve conflicts. It can be damn challenging as well though! When stuck with someone else’s LLEs , they can feel very real and uncomfortable. Once we embrace our empathy though, and do not personalize other people’s LLEs anymore, let them pass through, rather than hold on to them – we discover that such energies are finite and we recover our well-being again and again. Personally I have prayed to Ultimate Good years ago that, if my life does not get any easier and happier, to please take me out. I know life and my body is a gift, but I do not believe in a needless masochistic voyage either. I am still here, and my life has improved. Some of that is through understanding that I am an empath and Lightsoldier, and that as such I help heal my life and this planet. There is no use complaining for being drafted into helping to ‘clean up our planet’ (energetically, or otherwise), in order to make it a more enjoyable place to live on! And some of that clean up can, at times, be hard work! There is plenty of suffering around, some of it quite severe – to expect the clean up to not take some hard graft, would likely be ignorant. We are not alone though, and leagues of divine helpers are helping (if we just ask for their assistance). I trust it is all achievable and definitely worth it. Any (pain-)investment will be re-paid in happiness many times over. Some rewards are more instantaneous, we might be rewarded by a smile and the gratitude of a person we have helped; for other (greater) healing projects we might have to stay tenacious and patient – but we will reap!
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